Enlist now to receive your service number and access to the Squire Army, including weekly updates, mini-podcasts, Q&As and unrestricted access to ad-free videos!
Enrolling at this rank gets you off to a good head-start, with extra behind-the-scenes updates, access to classified briefing documents from all previous operations and a permanent 10% discount on all merchandise.
At this rank you've received your commission, and as such you'll be able to access a higher discount on Squire merchandise, as well as intel on company manoeuvres in advance and recognition of your service at the end of every video.
At this rank your service record will really start to add up. Not only will you now have access to the 20% discount on all merchandise but you'll also receive one item of each new product that we sell, completely free of charge (excl. shipping). Furthermore, you will receive a verbal citation at the end of every video in recognition of your service.
Your name is really starting to be recognised, so much so that you can give it to a character in one of our videos! Now, we aren't just going to invite you to attend museum meet-ups anymore, we'll also cover your entry and lunch, and you can forget about having to purchase replacement cups or mugs, if one gets damaged simply send us the evidence and we'll ensure that it's replaced, post hast! (excl. postage) And don't forget to request a personalised video while you're at it, up to 30 seconds.
At this rank you really are buying your way to the top, quite literally. If you do this you're an absolute nutter, but we respect you for it. You're basically as financially invested in all this nonsense as we are, and as such you can get yourself in one of our videos, with as much input into your character and lines as is sensible. We'll also ensure that you're supplied with a fitting costume on the day and do our best to help with travel costs (within reason).
The Small Print
*1 Initially, Captains, Colonels and Field Marshals shall be eligible to have dispatched to their address 1x Squire Enamel Mug and 1x 25-bag tea-caddy of Squire Standard Issue English Breakfast MK1. Taste Enhancing Additive (T.E.A), with shipping covered, this can be requested via the Quartermaster (accessible via the Officer’s Mess). Following launch of the Squire merchandise store, they shall receive 1x each new release, shipping excluded.
*2 The benefit of 1x free item of new merchandise available to the ranks of Captain, Colonel and Field Marshal shall not be applied retrospectively. Excluding the above mentioned enamel mug and tea-caddy, the benefit of free merchandise shall only apply to that which is released during the commission of officers at one of these ranks.
*3 Replacement Mugs/Cups for Colonels and Field Marshals shall be granted upon completion of a “replacement form” delivered to the Quartermaster (accessible via the Officers’ Mess) and provision of any requested follow-up photographic proof of destruction. Replacements shall be limited to 1x per month.
*4 Those signed up at Field Marshal rank for consecutive months shall not be entitled to appear in multiple sketches for each subsequent month past their first. We guarantee appearance in a minimum of 1x sketch from the point of sign-up and will aim to facilitate ongoing appearances for those who remain at this rank as often as possible.
*5 Those at Field Marshal rank shall have up to 400.00 GBP (or their regional equivalent) put towards any travel and accommodation costs for appearance in a sketch. This will apply per video appearance however any unused credit may be rolled-over to future appearances on a discretionary basis.
*6 If upgrading your account, you will get a discount in your first month equal to half your current rank’s cost - the discount code for which can be found in your rank’s Discord channel
*7 If changing ranks, either promotion or demotion, be sure to cancel your current subscription in “My Account” or you will be charged for both going forward!